Father's Day 2019

Today is the sixth Father’s Day without my father.

When he passed, I heard wonderful stories from my family and friends.  I assumed over time the stories would fade and the pain of missing him would go away.  well… over time, The pain of missing him has diminished, but not completely. I have gone from thinking about missing him to thoughts of how he changed my life and the lives of everyone around him.  I would not consider myself someone that grieves loudly, but I continually see the ways my father has affected my daily life.

my father left us at a time when I wasn’t expecting him to leave.  We had reached a point in our lives when his purpose had crossed from needing him to wanting him. probably a pretty good place to be as a father/grandfather. To know that your children do not need you but want you to spend time with them has to be an accomplishment.  I am looking forward to that time in my life.

While I believe he is able to look down on us now… I really wish he was here to “see” what we are doing.  He would be happy to see what we have done with our lives. The activities of his children and the excitement of his grandchildren as they spreading their wings towards adulthood.  While the sense of loss is overwhelming and there is certainly no way to recover from the death of someone you love, especially a parent. Moving ahead is one sure way to witness the success of preparing your children for such an event.

While no father is perfect, my father was a good man.  He had a pure heart and the unbelievable ability to see good in everyone.  He had an inherent nature of wanting to do good for everyone he met.  He had this unusual ability to be compassionate to every human being. His greatest gift to the world was his ability to see the good in strangers, not always visible to the naked eye.  He treated every person the same, regardless of where he met them, what they looked like or how they acted.

My father was the son of a hardware man, not by choice… you can’t pick your parents.  I am sure he had dreams when he was younger that were never realized because of the expectation of continuing the business.  This is something that was never placed upon myself or my brother. We were both encouraged to pursue our dreams. He worked tirelessly to fulfill the needs of his family on the wages of a local hardware store.  I believe my father had the ability to change the world but he was ahead of his time. He had an incredible ability to work with his hands and understand the mechanics of machinery like no other person I have ever met.  If he would have been born 50 years later.... who knows what he might have invented or cured.

I am sure that my father didn’t always see me eye to eye, but he never argued with my decisions.  He was always interested in what I was doing, how I would accomplish the things that interested me. I have had the opportunity to work on some very large, influential projects in my career, but I do not think I will ever compare to my father’s influence.  I may have influenced more people (by number) in my life, but he truly influenced the people that were close to him… the ones in his neighborhood and backyard. The people that will remember him forever… I only had the ability to affect the unknown. My father’s life was not spectacular, grand or flashy, but it was significant… he had the ability to make the world around him a brighter, kinder and more compassionate place.

Today I remember my father by celebrating his life.  I will remember him by carrying on his traditions and successes as a great friend and father.  I will try to walk a path similar to his, sharing compassion, humility and love like he carried each and every day.  I do this so I can remember him each and every day.

DJ Daugherty